Bring Back Flutie Flakes

One thing that gets very old are when fans call for a coach or several coaches to be fired.  Then some will go even one step further and recommend people like John Madden, Tony Dungy, etc to take over as head coach of the Bills.  We all know that this will not happen, but the fans are right, a change needs to occur.  But should all of the coaches go?  I say no.  Let’s start with the coaches that should stay:

Bobby April (Assistant Head Coach/Special Teams coordinator)- 5 games of uselessness does not overshadow the contributions that he has given to this team. 

Perry Fewell (Defensive coordinator)- Has put together a tough, hard nosed defense with a significant lack of impact players.  Although not the best against the run this year, they are still playing well with several injuries (and again, very little top end players).

George Catavalos (DB coach) – The DB’s have been playing well so there should be no reason to blame any of the Bills woes on good ole Georgie.

Bob Sanders (Defensive Line Coach) – This unit has been a pleasant surprise this season and Sanders deserves at least some of the credit.

So that sums up the list, I really don’t want to get into the assistant to the assistant coaches and the guy who gets hot dogs for the assistant to the defensive assistant.  I only really care about those who had a direct impact to why we suck.  But what I am not going to do is just point out the obvious, I like to be productive and I will share with you who should replace those that I think should be fired.

Alex Van Pelt (Offensive coordinator) – I know it really is not his fault, he took over the role by default right before the season started.  But let’s not forget what I wrote about him initially when he first took over.  To recap, he was not much of a QB coach as no one really developed under his watch, and it is clear that the offense is going no where as well.  But I have the perfect solution, the Buffalo Bills should hire Doug Flutie as their next offensive coordinator.  No one has done more with less than Flutie Flakes.  Flutie was very creative and through his CFL experience was at times calling his own plays.  He would be the perfect option, who better to teach a struggling QB than someone who had success in the league and didn’t just start out of default.  Flutie also was on some Bills teams that had to get creative with pass protection due to his lack of size so he has so many intangibles and knowledge that he brings to the table that can only help.  Van Pelt is really only good at teaching guys how to hold clipboards, I guess Bills backup Fitzpatrick is finding his knowledge useful.

Charlie Coiner (TE Coach) – Again, a guy I mentioned a while ago who needs to go.  This guy has done nothing to improve this position.  My suggestion to replace him is  Mike Tice.  Yes he is currently employed by the Jaguars but let’s face it, this guy knows what he is doing and in business cash is king so throw some at him.  Tice has previous head coaching experience and should be able to maximize Buffalo’s group.

John Allaire (Strength and Conditioning coach) – I have never seen a team suffer through as many injuries as the Bills have through the last 3 seasons.  My suggestion to replace him is Tony Horton.  That’s right, Mr. P90X.  Hey, have you seen the infomercials, he is one convincing dude.  Yes this is far fetched, but hey it’s worth a shot.  Even then, you really don’t need him, just invest in the video, burn a few copies and pass them around.  This way the Bills save some money as well.  It’s cost effective.

Sean Kugler (Offensive Line coach) – Ok, he has not gotten a fair shake because of the fact that he was given the worst scenario to work with.  So as I think about it, maybe he gets a pass.  But if he does get fired his replacement should be Kent Hull.  A Bills alumni who was one of the best centers when he played.  He also has the knowledge to back it up.  Why not give him a shot.  We gave Van Pelt a shot, why not get better quality of former players to try and help instead.

Tyke Tolbert (Wide Receivers coach) – This receiving core has underachieved year after year.  Although it may be due to lack of depth, it does not change the fact that Bills receivers still do not produce the way they should.  I have a few thoughts on who can replace Tolbert.  How about Andre Rison?  Spiderman is a locker room cancer, but he was productive at the NFL level and ran good routes.  He was also very creative, who else do you know that was snubbed by the Pro Football HOF and decided to start his own Andre Rison Hall of Fame?  Ok, so you may not be sold on Rison, well I have a backup, I like the thought of bringing in Tim Brown.  This guy was productive even though many times he didn’t have a good QB throwing to him or another threat lining up opposite him.  No one did it with as much humility and class.  He ran some of the best routes and was very productive.  His receiver IQ is through the roof as well.

Dick Jauron (Head Coach) – The debate is not if he should get fired, but when?  Ralph Wilson does not believing in firing a coach during the season.  But at this point does it really matter if he stays or goes during the season?  So who should replace him?  One guy I wouldn’t mind seeing being brought in would be Brian Billick.  He has a Super Bowl under his belt and a winning record.  The Bills need to stop hiring guys who have no experience as a Head Coach as they did before Jauron was hired.  They also need to stay away from hiring guys who are proven losers in the NFL as they did with Jauron.  Billick has the right experience and has a better understanding how to manage a game.  Also, coaching in Baltimore with as many big personalities as he had, he should be able to command instant respect from this team and turn the losing attitude around.  My back up plan, Steve Tasker.  Hey he does a great job commentating, but if they aren’t going to let him into the Hall Of Fame then at least let him try coaching.  I know he has no experience, but it’s Steve-freaking-Tasker.

Ralph Wilson (Owner) – He has made a public statement stating that when he dies he will allow the Bills to be sold to the highest bidder.  Way to look out for Buffalo Ralph.  I would like to see Jim Kelly and his investors get this team.  No one will care more about the state of this team than it’s former QB.  Kelly has a passion not only for the Bills but for the city of Buffalo as well.  Although it would be a business move and making money is the desired result, Kelly (being a former athlete) has far too much pride to see this team continue to dabble between mediocrity and being just plain bad.

The Hot Dogs (at Ralph Wilson Stadium) – I know, I already brought this up.  But they really are not that good.  While we are making all of these changes, can we at least mix in a Jumbo dog, please?

Tags: Alex Van Pelt, Andre Rison, Bob Sanders, Bobby April, Brian Billick, Buffalo Bills, Charlie Coiner, Dick Jauron, Doug Flutie, George Catavalos, Jim Kelly, John Allaire, John Madden, Kent Hull, Mike Tice, Perry Fewell, Ralph Wilson, Sean Kugler, Steve Tasker, Tim Brown, Tony Dungy, Tony Horton, Tyke Tolbert